Obama Returns to Kenya

HIT THE ROAD, JACK!

On Thursday, Barack Hussein Obama II returns yet again to Kenya. This will be, arguably, his fifth, sixth, or seventh trip to “his home country.” (Actually, who knows? See: Nov. 1982. What many would like to know is at what age he first left Kenya.)

This time, Barry will meet Uhuru Kenyatta, alleged to have committed crimes against humanity. That all charges were dropped under the circumstances described by the prosecutor in that article (linked above), brings to mind a quip from Bill Ayers, which we might paraphrase as:

Guilty as hell; free as a bird–Kenya is a great country!

Jomo Kenyatta and Barack Hussein Obama Sr. were acquainted, but allegedly were not best buds back in the day, but it will still be like old home week for their presidential sons for, as we all know, Barry isn’t one to carry a grudge.

Unknown as yet is whether Obama will return to Kogelo, the place where his father and grandfather (but apparently not his brother David Opiyo*) are buried.

Despite that the White House is mum about any visit to Kogelo, and such a side trip is not currently on Obama’s itinerary, we have it on good authority that Barry will indeed return to his kin in that sleepy village:

Obama is not officially scheduled to visit his ancestral home when he visits East Africa this week, but witch doctor John Dimo knows better.

After tossing some shells and animal bones on the ground, Dimo is convinced the American president will come to this tiny village, home of Mama Sarah Obama, 95, his step-grandmother, and the burial place of Barack Obama Sr., his father.

“The results indicate that Obama will come to Kogelo,” Dimo told a circle of residents this month as they cheered with excitement at the prospect of a presidential visit as they watched his fortunetelling ritual. “It’s a big secret, and he need not tell anybody that he will be visiting his ancestral home.”

Dimo said he has a good track record for predicting the future …

What could be more fitting than a witch doctor? Even so, Michelle is probably not returning to Kenya, too, although surely the people will miss seeing “the royal couples” together.

Hundreds of thousands are expected to hear Obama make another of his infamous, self-described “major” speeches at Kasarani stadium. Will he use that speech to raise the consciousness of Kenyans about gay rights, even though they warned him most strenuously to avoid that subject? Certainly the people of Kenya hope this will be another swing at the golden pinata for them:

Gov. Cornel Rasanga, who oversees the region that includes Kogelo, said his office is ready to receive Obama if he visits the village, adding that he would ask the president to help secure funding for four projects in the region — a university, a medical training college, a pediatric hospital and a power plant.

Is that all? Piece of cake.

Barry, we’re told, has learned the Luo language, so he can speak to his Kenyan kin in their native tongue. In fact, Obama’s step-grandmother Sarah says that even Michelle, Malia, and Sasha now speak Luo, although, as noted above, it’s not known yet whether the entire Obama family is taking part in this particular Kenyan safari.

Granny Sarah also avers that Barry has built the family new homes in Kogelo. There she is, below. One hopes that Barry can have his aides pick up a new window shade for Sarah at Walmart before they leave DC.

Considering that the Obamas in Kenya are Muslim and that we know what Muslims think about dogs (unclean), it’s rather disconcerting to read this:

MailOnline discovered a little brown puppy-dog named Michelle Obama – after the First Lady – which was named by a small boy in honour of the family.

Perhaps Michelle will stay home after all.

Everybody in Kenya is cashing in, even Barack Obama impersonators.

Hmm. Not getting it. Guess you have to see his performance.

Malik Abongo Obama (aka Obongo, aka Roy, aka Abongo Malik), one of Barry’s many Kenyan, Indonesian, and American half-siblings, has a hotel and restaurant named for his more-infamous relative.

This trip should prove quite entertaining for Obama watchers.

Trigger warning: N-word.

Five minutes into the video is hilarious! Thanks so much to the Doctor of Common Sense for our laugh of the day.

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Photos are from a Wall Street Journal article and a Daily Mail Online article, and are included here for educational and satirical purposes.

* Obama’s half-sister Auma, like so many in that family, has published her memoirs. She (seems to) reveal that David Opiyo was cremated and buried in a garden, somewhere, but apparently not with his ancestors. She also appears to criticize her step-mother Ruth for this turn of events.