© Bridgette WTPOTUS 2011
OBAMA REQUIRES SURGERY!
Obama was actively flying from one country to the next during the last year. Some of his last trips around November 2010 were to the Middle East, Indonesia, India, Poland and S. Korea. It is unknown if his trips to any of these countries led to the malady that he is suffering from today. Unfortunately, a major protrusion has replaced his once semi-dignified nose. As of this writing, the question remains as to the contaminate that is infecting him, causing such distress and angst, and changing his appearance.
This malady might be the result of dealing with afflicted leaders in the countries mentioned or by being exposed to someone with this aliment, a “carrier.” He may have been contaminated by an air-borne virus in one of the other countries, perhaps after going to Indonesia where volcanic ash filled the sky. It is difficult to pinpoint the place, incubation time, or specific infection as the malady came on quickly and with no warning. Other leaders that attended the G 20, where everyone was in close contact, were called and no one is suffering from the same disability. No one in Tucson nor in any other state has been affected according to the CDC.
It was suggested that this might be a latent side effect from the Swine Flu vaccination he received during the Big Scare. Yet, no one else is suffering from this condition. Continued drug or cocaine use might also have contributed to the problem. Blood tests are in process and the lab results will be forthcoming, although tests maybe inconclusive according to physicians who were questioned. He has caught something, but what? Physicians are stymied, and many are on record that they have never witnessed this problem in their practices. There appear to be so many theories, and so few answers.
Michelle has called all of the ENT and plastic surgeons in the Washington D.C. and Chicago areas. Unfortunately, she found that there are no plastic surgeons willing to correct Barack’s rapidly growing schnazola. It seems physicians are not taking any new patients at this time due to substantial increases in malpractice insurance, decreased Medicaid payments, decreased insurance payments, increased overhead, increased taxes, fewer patients, and other unknown and unexpected upcoming regulations and changes because of Obamacare.
Some physicians also stated that they are unwilling to use their expertise to help or contain the growth of his proboscis or surgically remove the schnazola and then be sued by one of Obama’s friends, like Eric Holder or Robert Bauer. They don’t want to risk their reputations and their practices with such a high-profile case, and then turn around and have their practices threatened by lawsuits. They just aren’t willing to put their name on that schnazola!
A few people suggested that he return to his home country of Indonesia or his birth country of Kenya and have the extensive facial surgery done there. If a new nose is warranted, it will be easier to purchase one in those countries. Some countries see nothing wrong with removing and selling body parts, and indeed a new nose may be required. Will they be able to find a willing match? Who will want to give up their nose for Obama?
Michelle was assured that in foreign countries their surgical waiting lists would be shortened if Barack chose to travel to either country where he has roots. In a call to Coast Province General Hospital in Mombasa, Kenya, that Grandma Sara recommended, Michelle was told that it was primarily a pediatric hospital. She was informed that even though Barack had been a patient previously, he was no longer eligible to receive services there.
The intake nurse was thrilled to talk to Michelle as she’d seen recent photographs of her when she was visiting Indonesia months ago. The nurse inquired if she was pregnant. Michelle was speechless, but the nurse continued on. She assured her they would hold a bed for her if she was pregnant. As decorum isn’t one of Michelle’s best traits, she cursed and hung up on the nurse.
Michelle called other facilities for information. She was told that there are other fine hospitals and physicians in Nairobi, but again, he must prove citizenship to gain admission to those facilities. She was told that no matter his status as the leader of the free world, he could not be admitted to a hospital there unless he was an African citizen; foreigners are not seen. Michelle said this wouldn’t be a problem, but the information provided would need to be kept strictly confidential.
One dead-end after another, Michelle consulted her Rolodex and called Raila Odinga, Kenya’s prime minister and Barack’s cousin. He stated that because George Soros caused such chaos in his country, and because he is Barack’s puppet master, it would be preferable that Barack ask George to recommend a physician somewhere else to handle his problem. Raila stated that it would be best if Obama did not have surgery in his country because they did not have the security apparatus to handle a stay there. Additionally, he wanted Michelle to thank Barack for the last $25 million that was sent a few months ago; they were putting the money to good use. Also, he said he would appreciate knowing when the next installment would be sent as they would like to complete the new school and community center that is named after him.
So, those are the real explanations for the African physicians denying him care. Odinga did mention that the Kenyans were still a little upset that Obama was decreasing US aid given to their country by former President Bush. After all, according to Pres. Odinga, if Grandma Sarah can have electricity, running water, cable TV, and a new road, then Barack must spread his wealth around and provide those luxuries for the rest of the Kenyans. His home town certainly helped him more than any other persons have done. After all, they gave him the necessary family validation he required. Raila suggested that Barack should use some of the money that he gets for his book, “Nightmares from My Father” that he and another guy dreamed up to continue the payoffs to the Kenyans if Congress refuses to continue the aid.
Michelle may have been calling contacts in Hollywood to locate plastic surgeons, and if so, that could explain a statement by Jay Leno recently on the Tonight Show. “President Obama’s foreign trip has been such a disaster that people in Kenya are now claiming he has an American birth certificate.” It was more than likely a member of Journolist that leaked the story about Obama’s schnaz to Leno.
Physicians viewing the picture of Barack offered their own diagnoses. The root growing from his face might disappear over time if it was environmentally caused by swimming in the oil infested waters in Florida, wading through the muck in the Louisiana bayous, or showering at Boy’s town in Chicago. Some have suggested that the infection might have occurred from playing around with oily [tar] balls.
One has to ask if it is the result of an infected mole? Until there is an answer to this, this case of “pinocchiotis” will continue to rob Obama of his looks, self-esteem, and self-confidence.
The physicians have stated that his suffering will include, post NATO drip, sniffles, congestion, increasing length and breadth of the schnazola, and could include a metamorphosis of his face. A resulting cigar-shaped nose is not out of the question. Antihistamines and Kleenex supplies are warranted and may provide some relief, not much, but some.
This malady, pinocchiotis, is a real example of the words “transforming” or “fundamentally changing” that he has used so often.
UPDATE #1: A retired FBI officer was contacted about Obama’s peculiar disease, affliction or whatever it is. He has contacted a man from Italy that he knows who may be able to help. Mr. Geppetto, a famous wood-carver, lives in a small Italian village and once knew someone who suffered a similar affliction. Geppetto is considered a holistic healer, and if chosen, Obama may not need surgery, and instead could opt for therapy. If long-term “therapy” is necessary, Geppetto, may be hired as a consultant to the White House.
UPDATE #2: Geppetto has agreed to move to the U.S. and will become the White House “Integrity and Ethics” Czar. His position will start immediately and will end on November 2, 2012. At that time, this project will be complete and he will have done as much as he could do. Geppetto was assured that there are no consequences for not being able to heal POTUS in the time frame allotted. In his stead, he suggested the Dali Lama be contacted for continued therapy. Reverends Wright, Sharpton, and Jackson were rejected as replacements for himself. He believed any one of them would lengthen recovery rather than shorten it. In fact, they may be carriers of the disease.
UPDATE #3: Geppetto still has not arrived in the U.S. Obama’s twin is making all the public appearances for him. Obama is staying out of the limelight, and no one seems to notice the difference between the two men, and if they do, the media is not reporting. His nose causes a major problem at meals because he has to lift it a little to eat! It also jets out across the room at unusual times and then retracts. The nose is very unpredictable. There is one benefit, Michelle stated that his sense of smell is greatly enhanced.
UPDATE: #4: His proboscis has grown another inch in the last three weeks and seems to be maintaining a normal 7 – 8 inch protrusion on a good day. It has reached lengths of 20 feet.
Physicians are still baffled, but Geppetto is not.