President Obama defends right of Wiccans to practice their religion; supports Christine O’Donnell’s “dabbling” in witchcraft.
by Miri The Witchhead Nebula
President Obama, speaking at a pre-Halloween dinner at the White House last night, an event designed to highlight his administration’s continuing pursuit of religious outreach, forcefully defended the right of Christine O’Donnell, Republican Senate candidate from Delaware, to dabble in witchcraft and decried those Americans who would use her former religion as a pejorative or to disqualify her from public office.
“As a citizen, and as president, “ Obama said, “I believe that Wiccans have the same right to practice their religion as anyone else in this country. This is America, and our commitment to religious freedom must be unshakeable.”
Wicca is a “pagan” religion based upon pre-Christian western European religious traditions, which revered the Earth Goddess, a fertility deity, and her consort, the Horned God. In some sects, these deities are seen as “lesser gods” beneath a Supreme Being, the Creator of all. Although some practitioners assert that their religion is relatively new, being a modern recreation of early Celtic religious traditions, others view Wicca as a direct descendant of the faith of the Druids.
In related news, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, in a rare display of across-the-aisle nonpartisanship, came out to vigorously defend Christine O’Donnell from attacks upon her former religious views, angrily asserting that “Witches most certainly have a place in public life. Being a witch should not be held against any candidate. I’ve been fortunate in my constituency. We in California celebrate diversity, including religious diversity and the RIGHT to be a witch while holding public office. This smacks of sexism, too, may I add?”
Not surprisingly, Michelle Obama was quick to concur with Pelosi’s views on the absolute requirement to defend witches wherever they are found. In a similar vein, Mrs. Obama, quoted in a newly published French book, compared being First Lady to consignment to “Hell.”
WTPOTUS has also learned that a Wiccan coven, the Daughters of O’Donnell, are shopping for a site near Ground Zero in New York City upon which to build a Wiccan Community Henge. Maab Morgan, leader of the coven, stated that her goal is to build bridges between American society and the wider Wiccan world, so that people will realize that Wicca is not incompatible with other faith traditions. They hope to use the center for interfaith activities, although Morgan admits that, considering light pollution and occlusion by tall buildings, the site will certainly not function as a conventional astronomical observatory. However, they do hope to receive permits from the city for the time-honored Beltaine bonfires as well as to host Samhain (Halloween) activities for children of all faiths.
Although President Obama declined to comment upon the “wisdom” of building this center so close to Ground Zero, he warned Americans to remember the words of our Founders.
Paraphrasing, Obama said, “ We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, endowed . . . with certain unalienable rights.”
We at WTPOTUS can only assume that the president failed to indicate by whom these rights are endowed [“their Creator”] out of his usual respect for the diversity of American beliefs and the panoply of titles that religious “folk” have for the “Creator,” as well as concern about excluding atheists.
Obama did, however, make sure to remind Americans that Wiccans should be equally valued and that due respect and consideration “must” be given to their rights, which include “the right to build a place of worship and a community center on private property in lower Manhattan, in accordance with local laws and ordinances.”
Disclaimer: The above is parody and satire.