April 1, 2010 6:30 a.m.
SUBPOENAS ISSUED FOR BARACK OBAMA (et.al), AND OTHER GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS.
BARACK OBAMA WAS HANDCUFFED AND USHERED OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE THIS MORNING BY COOPERATING AGENCIES INCLUDING THE MILITARY POLICE, SECRET SERVICE, CIA, AND FBI.
MULTIPLE CHARGES INCLUDED FRAUD, TREASON, CORRUPTION, AND IMPERSONATING A PRESIDENT!
THE IMPOSTER WAS SPEECHLESS!
THE CHIEF “FOOL ON THE HILL” WAS TAKEN AWAY IN A PADDY WAGON. NEXT STOP. PRISON!
An unknown source called a surprise White House Press Conference for 6:00 am this morning. Robert Gibbs is being questioned and has no answers as usual. Reporters documented the grand exit through the back door. It is trash day. Obama’s Blackberry and infamous teleprompter were impounded. The teleprompter will issue a statement later today on his web site.
Michelle Obama will be following very shortly; she can’t decide what fashion statement she wants to make today. No worries. Silver, bold handcuffs will make the statement for her. The children will watched over by Grandma Mary Robinson. In all the excitement, BO, made a no, no, on his namesake’s shoes. (Slip sliding away….)
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, Vice President Joe Biden, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton, and Attorney General Eric Holder were arrested and held by the Secret Service at undisclosed locations.
Emergency measures are in force. For the interim term and until a new election is held, Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, is being sworn in as president by Chief Justice John Roberts. To my knowledge, a vice president hasn’t yet been selected. The Presidential Succession Act determines who would take over as Commander in Chief. Of the eight persons in line, five were arrested: Joe Biden; Nancy Pelosi; Hillary Clinton; Timothy Geithner; and Eric Holder. Robert Byrd, age 93, third in line, is suffering from ill health and is unable to serve. That left Robert Gates or Ken Salazar, Secretary of the Interior.
In an extremely well coordinated effort, many Congressional Representatives and Senators are being awakened at their residences and hauled away. Criminal charges are to numerous to mention. Newspapers are scrambling to get information and articles printed for their late, really late editions. Internet bloggers are shooting the information worldwide. NBC, ABC, CBS, and CNN and other alphabet media outlets are replaying non-stop weather reports. Conservative radio shows are broadcasting the news! FOX and Friends are showing the arrest and White House departure of the imposter. Tweets and twitters are jamming the lines. Those on the West Coast are being awakened at 3:30 a.m.
On the East Coast, there is jaw dropping, laughing, crying, and extreme jubilance everywhere. There is spontaneous dancing in the streets, people are screaming from rooftops and mountain tops, horns are honking, and phones are ringing nationwide. There are morning celebration drinks; alcohol and champagne are flowing in every unlawfully opened bar and in hotels. Airlines have delayed all departing flights, and arriving and waiting passengers are giddy. The lame street media is gasping for breath and words; their silence is golden. All government offices were declared closed for the day! Schools are being closed nationwide, as well as stores and shops because this day, April 1, 2010 is a perfect April Fool’s Day!
It can’t get better than that!
Have a Great April Fool’s Day!