The Obama Doll Caper

by Bridgette

Where it Happened: Main Street, Plains, Georgia.
The Home of Democrat Jimmy Carter, the 39th President of the USA


Who has the audacity to say that newspapers do not report hard news these days? The Atlanta Journal-Constitution is telling it like it is, and it is about time. An AP reporter who is definitely worth her salt captured her audience with the headline “Obama Effigy Hanged in Jimmy Carter’s Hometown.” Yes, in the pre-dawn hours this past Saturday, someone hung a large black doll from a building on Main Street in Plains, Georgia. The authorities gave no description of the apparel that Dolly X was wearing.

The Secret Service was called to the scene to investigate and the Sumter County Sheriff’s Department referred all calls regarding the “incident” to them. Ed Donovan, the Secret Service spokesman, told “The Associated Press that the large black doll was found Saturday morning along Main Street in the small town of Plains.” One witness told a local “television station that the doll wore a sign with Obama’s name on it.” It is unknown if the television crew got there in time to televise the removal of the doll from the building. It is also a mystery as to whether the fire department was dispatched to hoist a ladder or if the HazMat team worked alone.

“HazMat Team at Work”

Witnesses have given varying descriptions. It is still unknown if this was a Barbie, a collector doll, vintage or antique doll. Some thought it might have been a Mattel’s Little Mommy Scoot, Madame Alexander or a Play Along Doll. It was apparently an African American doll, but it is unknown whether it was made of porcelain or vinyl. The American Girl doll was described by another person at the scene, and that doll is spunky and sassy. She teaches girls to stick up for themselves against bullies by talking and saying “no.” I think we can safely say, this wasn’t the doll that was hung, unless her aggressor was deaf.

Was Dolly X a Scoot So Cute doll that comes to life because she has a magic motion sensor that activates as she crawls? Scoot is pre-packed with Duracell Copper-top AA Batteries and weighs in at a whopping 1.9 lbs. She is said to be 11.0”’ x 9.5” x 7.9.” It is unknown if the Dolly X was made in China and if any of her parts were harmful if touched or tasted. No one was close enough to determine if the doll had eyes that opened or closed. A bystander who was near to where the doll was cut down and then evacuated, said it measured between 9.5″ – 12″ tall. Not one witness could tell if the doll did something or doesn’t ‘do’ anything. From all the varying witness descriptions, it was most likely the Baby Alive Whoopsie doll. Their ad states “she is life-like and coos, giggles, eats, pees and even poops on her own.” Whether the hung doll was a do something or do nothing doll is a mystery. Not one official when asked would say if Dolly X needed a diaper change after her ordeal.

“Little Baby Scoot”

One person said she saw peanuts fall out of the doll’s pockets as it was taken away in an unmarked car, but the amount of peanuts and whether they were shelled or unshelled could not be confirmed. Another Main Street store owner thought she saw a price tag dangling from the doll’s clothing. A ball of string was found at the crime scene.

Main Street was cleared by 10:15 a.m. to the relief of the town folk.

Nationwide lists of stolen dolls that were reported during this Christmas season are being checked, as well as Ebay sales records. Someone is responsible.

The doll who was wearing a sign that read “Obama” was immediately removed from public view. Although, in hindsight, letting it remain might have increased the town’s flailing tourism during these economic times. Where were these government officials when some California men hung Sarah Palin in effigy? Sarah was allowed to remain for a full month, yet this tiny doll in Plains disappeared. Oh, the inequality of the South. Will we soon see legislation enacted by Nancy Pelosi making it a felony to hang a doll in any other state than her own?

The huge town of Plains with its 600 residents “where presidential tourism is a major draw” now had a doll hung from a major building. Like you, I want to hear the 911 call reporting this travesty! Who was the anonymous witness? I can certainly see why the local and state police, FBI, CIA, and Homeland Security would be called in on this huge case. The soon to be infamous “Doll Caper” is where the government tax money should be spent. Attorney General Holder was right about not prosecuting those Black Panthers. That would be a frivolous expenditure when there are so many other cases like Dolly X’s to pursue.

This doll abuse case is not over. Pity the poor doll manufacturer having to turn over their thousands of sales receipts to the official doll investigators. Janet Napolitano weighed in on this dangerous situation on left wing Sunday talk shows. She said, “This was a national security threat and the system worked.” She referenced her earlier Homeland Security Report release and emphatically stated that the “doll was a right-wing terrorist.” The immediate response of the Secret Service, local police, sheriff’s department, FBI and CIA have placed a particular emphasis on the causes of right-wing extremist radicalization, and this was a great example of just how far they will go to get to the root causes. Although her statement was said while under extreme duress after a week of other terrorist threats from Al Queda operatives, Janet may change her stance tomorrow. It is fully understood why all agencies were involved in the Dolly X caper investigation. This event came on the heels of Al Queda’s failed crotch bomber fiasco last week, and they certainly didn’t want another good crisis to go to waste.

Further details will be reported as soon as they are released. If you know of anyone in Plains that was on the street and filmed any portion of the government’s arrival, inappropriate handling, mistreatment, or disposal of Dolly X, we urge you to have them send it immediately to Homeland Security. The Associated Press should also be sent a copy for their records.

UPDATE 1: One person reported hearing the doll speak as it was taken down from the building. The doll’s speech pattern was defined as slang and was not a southern dialect. It said, “Ma ma, Ma ma.” Another eye-witness reported it wasn’t “Ma ma,” but “O ba ma, O ba ma.” What will the official records show? Was Interpol involved? Will Dolly X remain in the evidence room forever? Only time will tell. We hope that our government will get to the bottom of this Doll Caper. They must analyze all of its implications. We can not afford for anyone to label this governmental effort as a sheer farce nor allow the investigation to be labeled a mockery. After all, we need to feel safe in our own hometowns, and we need the knowledge that our government is looking out for us.

“O ba ma, o ba ma.”

UPDATE 2: News of this is hitting all major news outlets. The first photograph of the hung Dolly X is below. See it to believe it. It looks more like a Voodoo doll to me, but I could be wrong.

“Obama’s effigy in Pres. Carter’s hometown”

PLAINS, GA (WALB) – A doll found hanging off a Main Street building in Plains is causing CONTROVERSY..…Witnesses say it was an image of President Barack Obama with a rope around his neck, and the display was found hanging in one of the city’s most recognizable sites dedicated to former President Jimmy Carter.

The Secret Service is handling the situation, we called and they said they won’t have a comment until next week.

UPDATE 3: Jimmy Carter was seen  Sunday evening hightailing it out of Plains.
H/T Papoose

UPDATE 4: Rest Easy. The Doll Caper is Finally in Competent Hands.

Special Agent Barney Fife is on the job.


42 responses to “The Obama Doll Caper

  1. 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Thanks for the grins, Bridgette.

    That dangling price tag might indicate a Minnie Pearl connection. HOW DEE!

    “She is life-like and coos, giggles, eats, pees and even poops on her own.” Crucial question: Can she read a teleprompter “on her own?” If she fails that test, DHS can relax–it’s not an effigy of O. He reads TOTUS very well, although I don’t know about pooping on his own.

    • Baby Scoot is hilarious ! Hahahahahhaha !
      Maybe we could teach her to sing the crotch bomber song ! Maybe she knows clues !
      Good one Bridgette !

  2. I just consulted my Ouija Board. Asking the simple question, where is the perp that put Dolly X on a bunjee cord. Within a moment the answer was revealed.
    He’s in the Oval Office playing Jax
    with the butler.

  3. bridg
    Do not fret…. We will be safe soon
    This is a case for the….. Domestic Army.
    Do not forget that we were promised one “larger and stronger” than our military.
    “We are working on getting that together real soon.” said Nappy from her office at Obie Security services.
    “Remember the 1960’s was very scarry and we can’t let that happen again ” said Puli from her post

  4. Deadenders has a great post up on the doll. They are comparing this doll to the Sarah doll last year, and the completely opposite handling of this doll. Last year it was art and freedom of creativity, now this doll is different and offensive ? How are they different ? This is a big bias huh ? Like discriminating against Sarah isn’t it ?
    BIG TIME !

    • Also part of the post above. “Uproar continues over Palin effigy W. Hollywood display breaks no laws, say authorities, including the Secret Service.” Offensive as it may be, the Palin doll — outfitted with beehive wig, glasses and a vintage Neiman Marcus red coat dress — appears to violate no law, said officials of the Secret Service, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department and Los Angeles city Code Enforcement Division. “The sheriff made this clear: This is a country that has freedom of speech, and we protect that right even when we think it’s idiotic and stupid and in bad taste,” said Steve Whitmore, spokesman for the Sheriff’s Department. “If it is nonviolent and doesn’t cause any problems, then they have the right to do it.”

  5. From the update photo of the hanging, I am thinking that Dolly X is in a disguise, and the witnesses all lied. Would we expect something different from a 99% Democratic town? We now know there is one closet Republican that lives there. Those are some tough odds…599 to 1…will he be outed for this hate crime?

  6. The word from Interpole is ……. No word..
    must be the duck tape

  7. The Largest Creator of Political Talking Action Figures with a cheesecake photo of Beach Blanket Obama!!!

    • You can really buy these things ? Hahahahhaha !
      Kinda like G.I. Joe goes Gidgit huh ? Dollar store style. They call the dollar store the Looney store in Canada………Fits here…….
      The beach one’s smile is a bit fake and strained…
      Kind of an odd look, like it needs a bathroom fast….Needs to go potty bad smile…..Stupid looking-really bad designers. I would never buy this stupid, cheap looking garbage. I have never wasted my money buying junk.

  8. She looks guilty to me. She has a big cheesy smile and a sly look on her face.

    There are photos of the couple from better days leading me to wonder what went wrong?

    What were they doing in Georgia when they were supposed to be in Hawaii?

    Was it Beach Blanket Obama or Dream Team Obama? Are they twins?

    So many unanswered questions need answers…

    Stay tuned

    • Cowkiller dress ? Is that what they really call it ?
      Hahahahhahahhahaha !
      Cowkiller ! I am rolling on the floor laughing !
      I am so sorry, and do not wish to be mean, but that is hilarious ! Cowkiller !
      Hahahahhahaahaha !
      Do they really call it that ?

  9. Bridgette, you are clever and I can’t wait for your next expose. In the meantime, look who was caught skipping town:

  10. Obama fighting Darth Vader with a Lightsaber !!!

    Comment, “Oh my god…his father never died, after all!”

  11. A strange alliance

    There were big doins when Barack Obama shunned his long time preacher/friend; The Rev. Jeremiah Wright of the Trinity United Church of Christ on Chicago’s south side. Denying over and over again that he even knew Rev. Wright, Barack kept quiet when pictures of the two of them surfaced , showing the two men to be closer than casual aquaintances. I’m not saying that either man blew the other, but they did have a history.

    Before Jeremiah Wright was affiliated with a Christian denomination, he was a practicing Houngan. That is a male priest in the religon of Voodoo. Wright was a devoute follower of Marie Laveau, the New Orleans VooDoo Queen, or Mambo, who came to power in 1830. Of the common Voodoo beliefs, a person could be affected by magic, also called Hoodoo. In one form of spell, a Voodoo doll was made in the likeness of the intended target of the spell. The doll needed to incorporate a personal possession of the subject. It was preferable to use body parts, including skin, teeth, organs or hair. To put a bad spell on someone was to negativly affect their mojo. Mojo, karma and vibe share similar meanings. When mojo was turned to the negative, undesirable experiences would follow. If the mojo was improved, more positive results insued.

    Such was the case in 1969 . After Edward Kennedy was involved in the Chappaquiddick incident , his father sought the help of the current New Orleans Voodoo High Priest ,Houngan Duvalier. Duvalier concocted a gris-gris (potion) to boost Edwards mojo, in hopes that he would be able to avoid prosecution. It worked, pardon the pun, like a charm. Duvalier charged the Kennedy clan, or should I say klan, somewhere near 1.5 million dollars for his help. The fee was grudgingly paid and Edward promised his father that he, Edward, would become President of the United States before a black man would. Eddie K, as he was refered to in their south, was a huge contributor to the efforts of the KKK.

    When Barack was nominated Democratic candidate for President, it left two particular men furious. It’s not known who approached who, but Senator Kennedy and Jeremiah Wright set about to destroy Obama.

    A Plan

    Edward Kennedy earned his nickname, Teddy, because of a teddy bear factory he owns in Georgia. This gave Wright his big idea. If Kennedy could just retool his factory, it could be set up to mass produce low power voodoo dolls of Barack Obama. Every time one of the dolls would be destroyed, Obamas popularity would fall slightly. Wright enlisted the help of Houngan Hector. Hector is currently a suspect in two murder cases. The Houngan said that it was a viable plan and all that would be needed is a gris-gris that Hector could make, a doll pattern in the likeness of Obama and enough of a personal touch to tie the doll spiritually to Barack. And a LOT of CASH. The dolls were soon on their way to the production line. Reverand Wright knew much about the habits of the Presidential contender. Barack was a steady customer at a barber shop in Chicago that was owned by a Trinity Church member. Wright approached the barber with an offer to buy the hair clippings of Obama. The Rev. told the man that if Barack was elected President, the hair could be worth something on Ebay. He assured the man that he would keep the hair in a safe place until it was the right time to sell it. Any profits would be split between the two men. Upon receiving the hair, Wright would turn it over to Teddy who would have it blessed by Hector and then incorperated into the stuffing of the “Obamalicious” doll. The missing Obama Ebay hair was replaced with the hair shaved off of a chocolate wire-haired terrier. The dolls hit the market too late in 2008 to effect the election results.

    The dolls not only had to be distributed, they also had to be damaged by the new owners. They were marketed mainly in the south, but many were given to Republican groups in an anonymous donation. Some recipients would put them on a dart board. Some of the dolls were rolled up in car windows. Some tied to the tails of kites. Some were just put on shelves as conversation pieces.But surely, not enough of them would be destroyed to hurt Barack in any way.

    Folks in high and quiet places in the White House, have discovered this plan. The dolls have been recalled and the “Teddy” factory suffered an unfortunate fire. Punishment is pending for Rev. Wright and Senator Kennedy “got his.” Houngan Hector is in jail for the murder of a transgendered woman. And the barber was shot in an attempted robbery. They’ve done everything they can to stop the curse. It is, however, too little too late.

    If you’ve noticed, Baracks approval rating has fallen steadily ever since he took office. Was it the Obama bail out of the bank and auto industry? Was it the fact that more troops were sent to the middle east? Is it the health care debacle? Actually, it’s due to more dolls being ruined than you might think. And this was due to the last brilliant idea that came from the cancer-ridden mind of Senator Edward “Teddy” Kennedy. He needed to guarantee the dolls would be torn up. It was accomplished quite simply. Along with Barack Obama hair, each doll contains bacon bits.

    It may not explain everything, but if you own one of these dolls, you now know why your dog loves it so much.

    • That is the most unbelievable but semi believable story yet! Sure explains a lot! I think Obama and Rev. Wright look very similar..and he could be his dad. I didn’t know that the fine black theology minister, who sees whites as enemies, was into Voodoo, and that is a heavy belief in Louisiana. But adding Ted to the mix and they had a voodoo doll factory! O’s hairdresser bites the dust too? One has to wonder if that hanging effigy is one of the factory’s products..workmanship …doesn’t look unionized to me! Where can we get our hands on those dolls?…my bigggg dog would enjoy a daily lunchtime snack! I’d like a few to lay in the tire tracks of my driveway for a daily runover also.

    • ROFL!!!! Reminds me of Lame Cherry’s tidbit as to that monkey Barky won’t leave home without.

      He also informs us of the rituals in the White House presided by the Babysitter.

      Bacon Bits! 🙂

    • “The missing Obama Ebay hair was replaced with the hair shaved off of a chocolate wire-haired terrier. ”

      Hee, hee! That’s a good one.

      Somebody stole his mojo.

    • Hilarious !

  12. Mr Bill!!!!!

  13. Maybe it was this Barack Obama doll, now with super “Spineless” feature

    Want change you can believe in? Seeing is believing with this awesome (in)action figurine of the US President. Pull out his easily detachable spine and watch him flip-flop this way and that, saying “Yes you can!” to both Banker Doll and Unemployed Doll. (Afghan troop surge sold separately. Batteries and victory not included.)

  14. The Obama Spanish Christmas Doll

    Why, exactly, are thousands of God-loving Spaniards paying almost twenty bucks for Barack Obama to relieve himself in their nativity scenes? Somewhere between tradition and transition lies perhaps the funniest Christmas story you’ll learn this season.

    By James Folta

    BARCELONA — The Christmas market outside the Cathedral in the Catalonia region here is much like any other holiday bazaar: carols, pine, more carols, wreathes, really annoying carols, and crèches. But for sale along with the wise men, Marys, Jesuses (Jesi?), and all our favorite Biblical folk is the “caganer” — literally Catalan for “the shitter.” And that’s because the figurine is just that: a little ceramic guy going No. 2 on the savior’s new front porch. Unholy, you say? The Catalan people I spoke to here insist the crouching crappers are an essential part of their nativity scene — so crucial that in Barcelona, when municipal crèches have omitted caganers in the past, intense public outcries have always brought back the traditional squatter.

    Asked from whence said tradition came, many Catalan shoppers shrug and say, “It’s just tradition.” Those who’ve crossed off more of their Christmas lists — and thus have more time to expound on their people’s somewhat frightening obsession with healthy bowel movements — are somewhat more profound. The caganer fertilizes the earth for a more fruitful year, or represents the equality of all mankind, or unites us in our most basic needs, or just throws a fart joke into a somewhat overwhelmingly holy display for your windowsill. Most agree that it’s just damn funny.

    Local merchants, meanwhile, agree that this kind of fun-loving feculence can mean big money. The original caganers — featuring a Catalan peasant, his red hat, and his bare ass — have been popular in the region for some three centuries. But for each of the past several Christmases, the newfangled little shitter industry has created a new figurine made in the image of a worldwide headliner. Whether this “honor” has anything to do with real-world achievement or simply sales is also up for debate in the market, but the latest entries range from Spanish political leaders to Carla Bruni, from the Pope to, now, Barack Obama. Yes, that’s the president-elect you see pictured above, popping a squat over a fairly heaping portion of Plasticine poop. And as has been reported this month, he’s the biggest seller these Catalan salesmen have ever seen.

    So while it speaks to the worldwide hype surrounding Obama that his constipated Christmas toy is wildly popular so far away from home, this cottage industry coup may offer a simpler message: America’s first black president, burdened with the expectant hopes of a weary and broken nation, just got caught with his ass in the breeze and a piece of dung between his feet. After all, isn’t that what the holidays are all about?

    • Never will I go to Spain for Christmas!

    • I don’t see where this ties in with Christmas as it is boggling. But that picture looks just about right be among the inauguration memorabilia. The merchants could retire if they’s put a teeny telePrompter
      With it.

  15. Helllllllppppp! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. These comments are hilarious.

    Feliz Navidukie!

  16. Atlanta TV News coverage: The local store owners won’t talk about it!!

    • What was it ? In the clip it looks like an orange pom pom or shoe dangling. That bright color orange.

    • This is an immense story of gigantic proportions! Now no one is talking? Remember people, you saw it reported here first…your one place for news ..always accurate..always honest. We have the finest reporters in the blogosphere working day and night to keep you up-to-date.

      Thank you Newsleuth for getting the video of this major AP and typical investigative media story.


    LOL, You ladies are to funny!!

  18. New York Post
    ObamaCare vs. the Constitution

    The health bills in Congress robs you of your constitutional rights. Here are five provisions (of many) that fail the constitutionality test and reveal Congress’s disrespect for the public:

    Read more:

    O”Care isent about health care at all. They know with all the legal challenges they are going to have it will never go into effect. Is it all about the $$$? I think its about the money and the control they will have. They will be able to access our bank accounts and medical records, ect, ect, before any legal challenges make it to court!

  19. Speaking of Doll Capers, ROFL.

    She asks for it.

    ROFL snort

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